Nine Ways To Defeat Boredom :: Part Three

NUMBER 5

GO OUTSIDE AND DO SOMETHING

Yes ladies and gents.

I am aware that this is a weather dependent but there is so much you can do

So RUN down those stairs

Fvgzm

Get on those shoes

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And get crazy!

Things to do outdoors:

1. Jump  into rain puddles

swing puddle jump girl

 

2. Take over the WORLD

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3. Play a sport with friends

basketball

 

 

 

4. Take over the World

The Brain

 

 

5. Ride your bicycle

bicycle fail

 

 

6. TAKE OVER THE WORLD

pinky and the brain

 

 

 

 

7. Become Deadpool and Do THIS:

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And this:

giphy (2)And this:

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Oh and this? Why not? Get your friends!

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**Bonus Points**

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This is essentially a must… Go find escalators!

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but seriously…

Who doesn’t want to have a dance off with a Storm Trooper Mr T Deadpool performing “My Adidas” by RUN DMC?

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And let us not forget number 8

8. TAKE OVER THE WORLD

 

Continue reading

Nine Way To Defeat Boredom — Part Two

In case you missed part one, check it out here.

ANYWAY

#3 Video Games

Pick one, play one, beat it, get another.

It doesn’t matter your gender, sexual orientation, religion, or any other characteristic you can possibly think of

Unless you’re Amish

amish

Or today is the Sabbath (which it isn’t)

There is a video game just for you

wife-plays-video-games

Believe me, I know quite a few moms who have high scores in Grand Theft Auto Online

I mean, being at the top of the table has this mom excited about everything

In fact 77%

77%

of British mums

(You know, the really respectable and don’t just choose games for the heck of it Mothers because the British have class and are sophisticated)

Would let their kids play

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And then mobile games!

  • Candy Crush
  • Flappy Bird (it’s coming back. click here for more info)
  • Clash of Clans
  • Ruzzle (come play me user: raymartinliv)

Like seriously peeps

The list is never-ending (actually it does end, just exaggerating…sorry if I fooled you.)

Continue reading

Nine Ways To Defeat Boredom — Part 1

Just wanted to apologise for the disappearance.

I’m sorry.

 

NOW that is out of the way, time to concentrate on more important matters.

Boredom

I think it should be a certified diagnosis

and the prescription: LSD

BEST. SOLUTION. EVER.

If you know, it was safe and all….

[Also, I am not at all advocating the use of LSD by anyone.]

Anyway, here it goes!

Nine Ways to Defeat Boredom

1. Sleep

Super easy solution

You think you have things to do?

NOPE.

They’ll get done eventually…a nap won’t hurt.

Don’t have anything to do?

I heard when you fall asleep, not only do you get to have epic dreams but,

the time changes!

Sometimes considerably.

There have been times I haven’t had food for the entire day and I’ll just lay down and say night to the roomie

Then I’ll realise I haven’t eaten yet

Then I fall asleep because I don’t want to get up because that involves work.

I really hate work

ANYway, so totally, like just don’t do anything and sleep.

Can’t be bored if you aren’t awake.

[Boredom -14 pts degen]

 

 

2. TV

Rule #1

Don’t just watch TV to watch.

Gotta make it a special occasion.

Rule #2

Have your shows or events you MUST watch and only watch during those times! (or anytime if you are one of those subscriber people — Netflix, Hulu Plus, Amazon, etc)

Makes TV that much more awesome and gives you something to look forward to.

Also, if you have to work on something and your show is in the way, well obviously your work is just gonna have to wait

That’s right work, no one likes you

MARATHON!

tv-show-marathon

Rule #3

Wear something comfortable and be close to food.

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Commercials are only so long, so you should definitely have everything you need close by

No one wants to miss a second of their favourite shows.

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Rule #4

Like what you like, but don’t be afraid to try new things

Just started watching Hannibal, Modern Family, & Sirens

A brief synopsis of what those shows have done for me would be:

  • Cannibalism has never been so attractive
  • Al Bundy is my hero
  • We’re all afraid of something, whether that may be Krispy Kreme’s closest location (6.67 mi away…6.67 mi too far)

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Rule #5

Social events around shows are still fun for most

Even if you might not be a fan of the show

Bring a game

Especially if watching sports, and aren’t THAT interested.

Cards Against Humanity (the adult version of Apples to Apples)

trust me, you learn a lot

about your “friends

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And if it is sports

Pick a team

Don’t be a party pooper

Taunt the other side when your team does something awesome

or when their guy falls down on their face

Because, that’s funny

unless they got really badly hurt, then you probably shouldn’t laugh

But you probably wouldn’t be paying attention

gotta win the card/board game. Totally more important.

fc,220x200,black.u3

 


So like I was totally gonna put all nine on this one post, but…it’s just so much to write about. So gonna split it up into parts, so yeah. Come back

Pwease?

poutybat

 

Well this was pointless

SLUMBER PARTY!!

Guest List:
– Raymond (myself)
– Toshiba (the TV)
– Kyleen (my laptop)
– Big Roberta (my phone )
– Kevin the douchebag (my iPhone)

So pulled an all nighter last nighter last night…

I’m the KING of all nighters

Bro got skills

Skills!

Skittles.

Step up your skittle game

So anyway, had to study up for my finance exam (ugh…) that was this morning. However, instead of spending my evening on Sunday and cramming then allowing myself the opportunity to sleep, I got fat.

To clarify.

Endless crab feast.

Had sooooo many crab legs!

Food coma.

Passed out from like six to eleven and then finally startednot doing work.

I grabbed my laptop and notebook, finance textbook, pen, headphones, and notepad and went to the living room. Pulled up the first assignment which involved me reading a case yet again, and answering ONE QUESTION.

I officially hate questions…

Ask me a question.

I dare you!

I won’t answer with an essay… No I’ll give you a simple sentence and troll your face off!

anigif_enhanced-buzz-12710-1373600119-11

Yeah

Take that.

So… Like the case though. Spent three hours on the first page. In that same three hours I watched south park, listened to music, talked to my friends, played scrabble, made headway on hopeful business ventures, FIFA13, oh and teared up because feels.

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Daughter – Youth

Check them out on the YouTube!

Awesome group!

I love music

…So I began reading and got to page three out of five. Became a disc jockey for the next ten minutes, using the track pad to “wiki wiki” through the document. Laid down some sweet jams.

Finally rage quit by leaving the couch and logging in some quality ifunny hours.

Showered

Totally showered.

I wanted to shower.

Water was really cold though….

That was lame.

I then grabbed my finance book from the room and began to read through it, relearning…. Okay, learning the material for the exam. It was 5AM.

Four chapters

Thirteen sections

My cup of cares jumped off the table and emptied itself.

but I did it anyway.

Told myself I was gonna get through it all and finish by six, sleep til seven, and be in the exam by seven fifty. Exam was scheduled for eight this morning.

X5bSB

You know what though?

I did it.

Got through it all. Reviewed and practised all those equations. Owned that material and slapped it silly.

6N2Fa

I laid down and just chilled under the covers as the sun was already up. Got about five minutes of actual shut eye and then got ready for the day

I show up for class. Pull out my calculator. My pen, and I’m just reviewing some minor notes.

“Okay class, so we’re gonna continue our exam review since we didn’t finish last week. Also my office hours will start at 1030AM and end at 4PM. Don’t forget that the exam on Wednesday is closed note, closed book…”

SON OF A…….

jpyTI

[In hindsight, maybe sleeping through last Wednesdays class wasn’t a good idea… Oh well. One more day to study]

You need to be 18 to buy a notepad

But seriously…

Think I’m kidding.

Hah!

You’re very mistaken.

It was a dark summer’s night, only it was spring and totally not summer so it can’t be a summer’s night so get over yourself!

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Anyway, I went to CVS to buy some stuff and I wanted to get some notepads to write some letters with. I went to the self checkout and started scanning items when suddenly the screen did the blue screen of terror thing with the rainbow swirling around and I was like.

Oh no.

What have you done

Done messed up son!

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[Hits machine then turns to nice lady]

“Evening nice lady! Can you assist me?”

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At first we thought that it was asking for my ID because I had scanned some compressed air, but nope… It was the notepad. Every time I tried to scan the notepad, the ‘need assistance’ window came up and kept asking her to enter in my date of birth.

Guys!!

I got the new drug!

Notepad

Notepad drugs!

You can smoke notepad!

So cool!

[Warning: don’t actually smoke notepads. That’s just stupid.]

So yeah, I had to be eighteen to purchase a notepad. Of course, if I wanted to go huffing, nothing could have stopped me

#socool #awesome

[PSA: huffing kills, much faster than eating lots of food. Eat food. Don’t huff]

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Kid Sasses Teacher. Kid gets Wrecked.

So I have this class…

Management Information Systems

Can’t say I’ve learned a lot but the way the class is run and how the professor and TAs interact with the students is definitely a great way to do things and frankly I’m a fan.

So basically, my professor, who is foreign (very important detail), most likely from the UK or Middle East/India (he has degrees from both places and he’s only recently become a resident) puts out these handouts which detail pretty much everything going on that week on top of what we are expected to know for the following week. They just really help focus and make sense of what the class is trying to offer.

BUT

this one kid

This one American kid who sat on the other side of the lecture hall from me (thank you!!!), decided to speak up when we had a Q&A with the professor, and what he said pretty much pissed off our professor.

 

“Yeah, so I think a general improvement that could be made is that any questions or material we receive from you, whether it be a quiz or homework, could you use proper English…..”

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OH SNAP!!

I mean, I may or may not be a genius but like seriously? Did he really just ask that?

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Just so you know, all questions we are given online are selected by our professor, FROM THE BOOK which we were supposed to purchase… (Whoops) which has been proofread before publishing and is proofread again, before being given to us. Our handouts are prepared by native English speakers based on an outline provided by our professor who speaks English very well, with a strong accent though but he’s clear and his syntax is consistent.

Anyway, this kid… This kid!

 

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Like seriously. Dude gets lambasted (neato word skills!) in the middle of class by the professor pretty much telling him off and calling him ignorant and probably needs to consider taking a few more English classes before he ever shares that point again. Not only does that happen, but the entire class just stares at this kid and slaps him harshly with the whites of their eyes.

#humiliated

 

So this kid!

Tried to sit next to me during recitation

Hah!!!

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You ever tried to put your hand in your pocket and it didn’t fit?

But seriously…

I really do mean it.
Every important post starts with “but seriously…

 

So like, pants.

They’re really comfortable a lot of the times and wearing them can make you happy but would it be so flipping hard for the people behind them, designing these stupid pants to at least include pockets that actually hold things!

Goodness gracious, balls of fire.

The fashion industry must be full of trolls. Yeah, this doesn’t really affect guys too much, but it seems to be both guys and girls doing the trolling.

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“Oh hey look. Fabric, I got that. Hmmm. That’s a really sweet jacket. It’s a shame it has no pockets…Whoa! Wait, we should totally put in these fake pockets! It. Would. Look. Faaaabulous! We’ll call them faux pockets.”

That was the transcript of a recorded conversation I got my hands on from the fashion school here at Drexel. The individual, who will remain unnamed, then continued on to say they will incite a revolution in the industry and make sure you’ll never be able to put even chapstick in your pockets!

The fashion industry has been lobbied by other industries though.

You think you were the first person to think of putting your phone in your back pocket?

NOPE

It was all by design.

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Phone companies have been dying for ways to increase the possibility of phones either being stolen or broken and what better way than putting in the back pocket.

The bigger the phone, the more it sticks out and the easier to grab. Also, watch where you sit. Might leave bits of your phone on the chair.

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Even grocery stores have joined in on this party. According to reports from very reputable and affordable companies (unfortunately I lost the sources so you’ll have to take my word for it), a large amount of store thefts are done by women with pockets on their clothing at least an inch or more deep. Therefore it has become a requirement to have pockets in women’s clothing no more than a centimetre deep.

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This girl was caught stealing fifty dollars worth of chocolate. When asked why she caught, she said “my pockets weren’t large enough to carry the chocolate in. Everyone knows bigger pockets equal success!” The cops agreed with her assessment and stated that it’s very difficult to know if there is anything in pockets. They just hide things so well.

 

However, they didn’t just change this all overnight!

Nooooooo

They slowly evolved and got you used to being controlled so you wouldn’t complain.

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You see here… This was five years ago. Look at now:

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Pointless!

Above all else, we’ve been trained in this pose. You ever went to take pictures at a studio or for school or work and the camera person says “okay you twit, put your hand in your pocket..no no, not that far. Only slightly, yes… Stupid kid… Oh no, nothing, I said the battery is dead. Gotta change that pronto hehe. Okay, and stick your thumb out. It’s not right unless it hurts and feels super awkward. This is how celebrities do it and one day you won’t be a celebrity.”….

Oh wait, you didn’t experience that? I suddenly hate that guy even more. Might dedicate an entire post to him and confess my hatred.

I’m coming out of the hatred closet!

Hey you!

I hate you!

Go eat lemon!!

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Totally told him off, you know, when he sees this.

 

Oh yeah, women’s “faux” pockets.

They’re stupid and the fashion industry needs to learn how to treat their customers well. I know men are like their biggest targets but women are just as important too and together we can have pocket equality for everyone!

I want you to be able to put an iPad mini in your front pocket and dance and flip without worrying about it not staying in. If you want to steal groceries like your kind have done before you almost everyday, all the time [I can’t legally say go do it] you can! Stuff all the radishes (most commonly stolen item by women shoppers/stealers. It’s true #science) you can in those pockets and not have to worry about getting some atrocious and ugly looking clothing.

Be the woman you want to be and fight for pockets!!

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I am a proud supporter of pocket equality and I ask you all to remember this and spread the word. That all people are created equal and therefore all men, women, transgenders, transsexuals, cis people, and time lords deserve pockets of equal but proportionate length.

Love one another, with blow up hammers. Hurt way less than fists.

AND THEY’RE FUN!

[Epic theme song music]

But seriously… This needs to change. Things need to change.

Treat people with respect.

Don’t hate them because their views differ.

Share your opinions but don’t force them on others.

Live life to the fullest, and live with love.

A sin is a sin, doesn’t make you any better than the other person.

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